To say I was nervous would be an understatement. It was July and I had just returned to Honduras and scheduled a few days in San Pedro Sula to spend some time with Ever but I was nervous! It would be the first time we interacted in person as boyfriend/girlfriend and I was nervous! Okay, I think you get it, I was nervous.
When Ever got off work, he came to the hotel where I was staying to pick me up for our “first” date. (He calls it our second date but first date alone together haha!) When Ever showed up to the hotel, he gave me a hug and I was so tense, he immediately picked up on that and played it so cool. (I think he was a little nervous too but I doubt he’d ever admit to that.) He held my hand as we drove to Pizza Hut and just reassured me that I would be fine. And after a bit, I was. Eventually I had loosened up and was acting more like myself. I was also getting to see Ever in a new light. He has such an outgoing personality and never meets a stranger so you can imagine Pizza Hut provided lots of opportunity for me to observe this man and watch how he’s quick to offer friendship to those around him. We talked and laughed and ate pizza and I was only awkward for part of the time. Lol!
As our evening was coming to an end, he paid for our meal and then lead me back to the car. As we started to head back to my hotel, I started getting nervous again because I knew our date was coming to an end and I knew he was going to kiss me. Now when I say I was chronically single before meeting Ever, I mean that quite literally. You know the movie “Never Been Kissed.” Yep. That was me. Ever knew this but had already given me fair warning before I even got back to Honduras that he was going to kiss me. So again I was nervous!
The next couple days I got spend with Ever were really special. He took me to the movies which if you know me, you know is totally my thing. He had not been in 11 years! He took to meet his friends and then one day we spent basically the entire day trying to get a car I sometimes use while in Honduras registered. I was getting to see him in different scenarios and y’all I can tell you this man is consistent. What you see is what you get and I love that about him.
My mom told me before I went to Honduras in July that if I felt the same way about Ever in person as I did from a distance, then it wouldn’t be long. My mama knows me.
When Ever and I first started getting to know each other, I made two things very clear to him.
1) I wasn’t going to date for the heck of dating. That’s not where I was in life.
2) I was honoring God by waiting to have sex until marriage.
Those two conversations were maybe a little uncomfortable to have right off the bat but I’m so glad we talked about those things from the beginning. Ever has honored and supported me in both areas. I remember when I asked Ever after a few days of constant texting, “What are we doing?” His response left no questions in my mind of what we were doing. We were starting something that we hoped would last for a lifetime. Can I tell you how wonderful it is to not have to worry or wonder about what the heck’s going on in a relationship you’re in. It’s refreshing.
So needless to say, it wasn’t long before the topic of marriage was coming up. We had had hard conversations. Those conversations in which both of us had to go before the Lord and say “Is this what you want?” We’ve shared the knitty gritty of our pasts. We had asked ourselves how the past impacted the future and ultimately it has been a decision. My mom always said “Love is a decision.” And that’s true. Yes, there’s feelings, there’s googly-eyes, there’s romance but ultimately love is a decision. So we made that decision to love each other when it’s fun and exciting and in those times he’s getting on my nerves and hurts my feelings.
There’s a bazillion other things I could tell you about those first days we got to spend time together but I promised to finish up “the story” in this blog. So allow me to continue…
When I returned to the States, Ever and I knew we wanted to spend our lives together and make Christ the center. He arranged to call my parents via video call to ask for my hand in marriage. I was so nervous for him and I technically wasn’t there for the conversation but kinda was and heard the whole thing and he did so good. My parents were ready with their list of questions and believe me, you talking about marrying their daughter, they ain’t going easy on ya. But he did so good! I was so proud and probably a little more in love by the end of that conversation.
My parents gave their blessing for us to marry. My dad said he could tell that Ever was a man of compassion. My mom said “There’s not many men out there who would say they’d lay down their life for their wife. He did.” (Heart full.)
So then it was waiting until the next time I’d see him again. October. An eternity. Okay I’m being dramatic but it felt that way (but not nearly as bad as right now! Please, Sunday, get here!)
The day finally arrived for me to return to Honduras. I was meeting his family and I knew somewhere along the way there would be a ring. He didn’t make me wait too long. When I arrived in Honduras, he and his family were waiting for me. They loaded my stuff in the back of the truck and we headed out to conqueror some errands. Ever had the gleam of a little boy with a new bicycle in his eyes and I knew he was up to something. We stopped for lunch at a Chinese restaurant (yes, they have those in Honduras and I promise you it’s the best Chinese food you’ve ever tasted!) As soon as we sat down in the booth sitting across from his mom and her other half, he popped out a box.
He told me how much I meant to him and how much he wanted his family to be a part of this moment and then he asked me, “Te casarías conmigo?” (Will you marry me?) To which, I said “Si!!!!” (Yes!!!!)
|I look a hot mess but this was at the Chinese restaurant where he proposed!|
And in 9 days, I’ll start the greatest adventure of my life–marriage. I could not have picked a better man to get to do this life with. God really does do more than we can ever ask or imagine. He did it with Ever.
When I returned from Honduras at the end of October after saying the hardest good-bye of my life, I stepped off the plane back onto U.S. soil and in my heart, immediately knew this wasn’t home. Ever was my family. Ever was home. Over the years I’ve struggled with where home is. I thought it was a place but I realize now it is a person. It’s Ever and it’s a special thing to finally be coming home.
Te amo, Ever. No veo la hora de ser tu esposa.
(To all my single ladies, please let this be an encouragement to you. God sees you. In the years of singleness, though for the most part I was so thankful for the season, it does not mean it wasn’t hard. So often Christians mean well and say stupid things like “you should learn to be content without a man.” Wanting a man doesn’t mean you’re not content, it means you’re human and made for relationship. Or another personal favorite “maybe God is trying to teach you something through your singleness.” God is always teaching us no matter the season. Or “once you stop trying to find a man, that’s when he’ll come into your life.” In April, the month before I “met” Ever again, I felt like God was telling me to put myself out there. I signed up for eHarmony, I said yes to a blind date that fell through but it was an act of faith saying that I believed God was answering my prayer for a husband. Please don’t let anyone make you feel that your desire for a husband is somehow not right. God made us for relationship. It is not wrong to desire someone to do life with. While waiting for His best, enjoy the time. Make your single years count BIG for Christ. And remember, He hasn’t forgotten you. He sees you, my friend.)