Monthly Archives

March 2017

Growth Journey

Why I didn’t see Beauty & the Beast {It’s not what you think…}

March 29, 2017

It was all planned. After a week of early mornings and late nights working to complete SoloHope’s new Spring/Summer collection, we were going to reward ourselves with a little relaxation–a movie! And not just any movie but Beauty & the Beast.

It was my favorite Disney movie as a young girl (okay, okay from time to time I still click play on the animated version). I had been looking forward to the live-action movie since I had heard Disney was making it.

Needless to say, I was excited.

Since we live in La Esperanza, it’s three hours to the airport where we’d have to drop off the shipment. It was also where the theater was where we’d see Beauty & the Beast! But first thing was first–boxes. We had run out of boxes to package our shipments so we had to go by the company we purchase boxes from first to pick up our order of a 100-18x18x18 inch boxes.

What we had not thought about was how high we’d have to stack the boxes on top of the car to get them back to La Esperanza. It looked like we were trying to build a tower atop the roof of the car.

The theater is in the mall which has an underground parking lot. And yes, you guessed it! The car with the tower of boxes atop couldn’t clear the parking garage and there was nowhere safe to leave the car on the street.

So I didn’t see Beauty & the Beast.

I was heartbroken.

And I cried. And cried. And cried.

I know, I know–a 30 year old grown woman crying about not getting to see Beauty & the Beast is pretty embarrassing but disappointment invaded my heart that day.

Going to the movies is my favorite but since the nearest theater is over an hour away it’s not something that we get to do often. The whole week when I was tired and wanted to quit, I kept telling myself, “You’ll soon get to reward yourself with Beauty & the Beast.”

As I was a blubbering crying mess, I texted a friend about what happened and that I was actually crying about not going to see the movie and she texted me back and said:

“Listen, disappointment is real.”

And it is. Disappointment is real. Over the last few months, I’ve had to deal with lots of disappointment. Disappointment when plans failed. Disappointment when people I trusted failed me. Disappointment when things didn’t go how I’d always imagined. Disappointment when there was no water. And yes, disappointment when I didn’t get to see a certain movie.

Life is full of disappointments and it’s so easy to let them sink us. But I’m learning even in the midst of the hardest of disappointments, that I must keep my eyes on the One who will never disappoint. He will always stay true to His word. He will always love us BIG even when we disappoint Him.

People will fail. Plans will fail. But our God never will. Our God will never disappoint.

P.S. The hubby took me and Brenan (Ever’s mini-me) to see Beauty & the Beast Monday. It was absolutely beautiful, even completely in Spanish. Afterwards I don’t know how many times I told Ever “Gracias por llevarme al cine para ver La Bella y La Bestia.” (Thank you for taking me to the movies to see Beauty & the Beast.) He did good. He did real good. So yes, en fin, I saw Beauty & the Beast!

Marriage

Your Husband will Not be Jesus

March 15, 2017

Even though I’m now married, I find myself still clicking on the blog posts about “preparing for a husband” or “advice for single ladies”. You know the ones I mean. Now I click for a different reason. I click to see how accurate the information is that they are providing. I spent 30 years of my life clicking on those post trying to make sure I was doing everything just so to prepare for marriage, or to make it happen quicker, or to be ready. And I’ve come to one conclusion.

You’ll never be ready.

You could read 1200 of those articles/posts every day and you’ll still not be ready.

But I suppose if over the last 3 months of marriage (because you know three months makes you an expert lol!), if I had one piece of advice to give to single ladies hoping to be married one day, it would be this: your husband will not be Jesus.

I thought I had a pretty realistic expectation of marriage and of my husband but I had read one too many articles and one too many books that had put the role of husband next to God.

You know, he’ll lead you. He’ll give you grace when you fail. He’ll show mercy when you scream at him. He’ll always compliment your cooking. He’ll take notice when you clean the house. He’ll never say anything hurtful to you. He’ll always say you’re beautiful when you wake up with sleep in your eyes and smelly breath. He’ll lead you in study of the Word and always pray every night with you.

He will be Jesus to you.

Now please hear me loud and clear, husbands do have a huge responsibility to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). But learning to do that does not happen overnight. It’s a process and a process in which your husband will fail at times. Your husband will not be perfect. Your husband will NOT be Jesus.

Your husband will need grace. And respect. And love.

Just like us, ladies, need those things.

Expecting your husband/future husband to woo you like Jesus is an unfair expectation and ultimately will only lead to disappointment. The only person who can show you an infallible, perfect love that truly fulfills is Jesus, not your husband.

If our hope is not firmly grounded on Him, we’ll be sorely disappointed when we realize that our husbands, well…are not Jesus. Our husbands can show us Jesus but they’ll never be Jesus.

I feel like in the church today we give these unfair expectations to women preparing for marriage. We read those verses of how husbands are called to love their wives like Christ loved the church but we forget to mention that husbands are human and even though this is their call, they will fail. Yes, they’ll get back up and try again but they will fail. It is our job to love them regardless.

So today, ladies, I’m telling you what you may or may not hear in church: your husband will fail you. He will not always love you just like you thought he would. He will get grumpy when he’s hungry. He will get mad. He will struggle to say I’m sorry when he’s wrong. He may not remember that you love fresh flowers.

But he may remember the M&M’s. He may spend hours fixing the car. He may tell you look beautiful when you feel like crap. He may go to pharmacy to get you medicine when he himself doesn’t feel well either. He may clean the back porch when you didn’t expect it. He may challenge and sharpen you in your faith. He may try really hard to show Jesus to you.

But he will never BE Jesus. So don’t expect him to be.

Pray for him. Love him. Give him to Jesus. But do not place on his shoulders a weight that no man, no matter how wonderful, can carry. Remember your worth is found in Jesus, the only one who will not fail you. And on the days, when you’re disappointed in your husband’s inability to meet all your fairy tale ideas that you might have been taught in church or in one of those sweet little Christian blogs, grab your husband’s hand and love him. It’s a process and you’ll learn together.

Photo by Joe Terranova